They're Telling People To Put Keys In The Microwave

"M.T. Blake" (autohabit)
08/12/2018 at 16:45 • Filed to: technology, key fob, fox news, misses the mark, swing and a miss

Sometimes I stumble upon an article while slumming the internet that shows me we’re all doomed. This latest article from Fox News is one of them. I know what they’re trying to say, but all it seems to do is incite hysteria and create more problems than it solves. Some of these suggestions are hilarious.

The lint means it actually gets used.

I do not subscribe to any particular news outlet. I believe they all have their inherent issues. They all are trying to steer us towards a particular political or social issue they find most important. My Google Chrome is constantly finding different articles based on what I knowingly surf in my free time. Sometimes it scores a win, and other times it finds the most odd articles. My Google account must think I’m part academic and part nut... it got one thing right.

The Fox News Article Titled, “ !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ” , I believe is geared towards educating people about new methods of auto theft. I think it misses its mark. It provides several pieces of advice to prevent thieves from stealing the electronic data from your key fob to unlock and steal your vehicle. Get ready for a laugh...

1. Sticking the keys in the fridge. Okay each of these will be some sort of ‘sticking your keys in a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ’ but this one is great for battery life. What could be better than a frigid environment than a fridge? The freezer? Why not put they keys into the Folgers can first AND then into the freezer? Double Faraday Cage! O ld people will freeze anything (wedding cake, left overs from a restaurant, and even their beloved animals).

2. Placing the key into the microwave. This is the worst. I’m guessing that most of the people who actually searched for this article (instead of Google finding it for them because it thinks they’re crazy) are either old or nutty. Both of those segments of the demographic are forgetful people . You know what isn’t cheap? Frying your key fob in the microwave. Not only could you need new keys but a new microwave.

3. Wrapping the key in foil. Yes, t he most simple Faraday Cage. Foil does work but it also makes you look like a tin-foil hat wearing weirdo. I once met a lady who wrapped all of her electronics in her residence in foil and all commonly touched surfaces in plastic wrap because ‘they’ could hear her. I’m sure she is now in a mental institution.

4. Buying an RFID blocker. This is most sensible thing but it also defeats the purpose of having a key fob in the first place. You’d have to pull it out every single time. Don’t the thieves wait for you to USE your key to steal the data? Why don’t we just go back to metal keys? Or go back to a time when no cars had keys? Can’t we just be on an honor system? What if the penalty for auto theft was to lop off an arm? I don’t think it would work . We worship the outlaw culture and ridiculousness associated with a risk taking philosophy in our country (USA).

I understand that people are worried about the risk of theft associated with a defeata ble technology. Unfortunately, everything that has been invented will be defeated . When we invented metal armor for knights - they made guns to pierce the armor. The same will happen here, we invented a secure wireless transmission - criminals will find a way to crack it.

The thing people miss here is that it is expensive, and requires some know-how to defeat a key fob. There aren’t any common street criminals running around with these devices yet. If one day an iPhone app does the same thing, we’re in trouble. Time to invest in aluminum foil...

DISCUSSION (19)

HammerheadFistpunch > M.T. Blake
08/12/2018 at 16:49

you mean this one?

https://jalopnik.com/heres-a-friendly-reminder-that-you-can-put-your-car-key-1828259034

M.T. Blake > HammerheadFistpunch
08/12/2018 at 16:51

NOOOOOOO, even USA Today is re-posting this garbage?! Jalopnik beat me to it. I guess it pays to get paid to do this.

E90M3 > M.T. Blake
08/12/2018 at 17:03

I accidentally put my M3 keys through the wash one time, basically the same as putting them in a microwave .

His Stigness > M.T. Blake
08/12/2018 at 17:10

I bought “faraday” bags when I got my e-Golfs. The chance of someone having a device, and the balls to try to steal one of my cars is slim to none, but for a few bucks, the piece of mind is worth it.

I know there is a way to disable to remote entry feature on my cars, but it defeats the purpose of having remote entry, so I just put the keys in the bag when I get home.

M.T. Blake > E90M3
08/12/2018 at 17:22

Bummer! Those can’t be cheap keys! When I bought my former Ford diesel, it didn’t come with a fob because the former owner dropped them in a lake. Luckily the Ford fob was $20 on amazon and easily programmed yourself.

M.T. Blake > His Stigness
08/12/2018 at 17:25

It’s been rare to see any sophisticated criminals stealing cars and when they do it’s usually high end or those that are easier to steal. There was a rash of Jeep thefts in the San Diego area all attributed to a dirty dealer with t he key codes from Mexico. Camaro thefts have been popular too but again these thefts had to do with replacing the PCM under the hood with a preprogrammed one by the thieves.

E90M3 > M.T. Blake
08/12/2018 at 17:27

Luckily, it’s at least water resistant. The buttons for a water tight seal and there’s a rubber gasket around the place where you put the battery in. After I pulled it out of the washer, I popped open the back and it was dry inside. So I still use it with no issues to this day. However, had that not been the case it probably would have been over $400 to replace.

M.T. Blake > E90M3
08/12/2018 at 17:37

You got lucky they over built that key. Never heard of anyone salvaging a key like that.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > M.T. Blake
08/12/2018 at 17:55

I keep my keys in the fridge at work so I don’t forget my lunchbox .

M.T. Blake > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
08/12/2018 at 17:57

Here you were following the advice the whole time and never knew it. Or maybe you were?!

His Stigness > M.T. Blake
08/12/2018 at 18:42

Yeah. Like I said, I know the possibility is extremely remote. Same with my house being broken into. But precautions make me feel better.

gogmorgo - rowing gears in a Grand Cherokee > M.T. Blake
08/12/2018 at 19:24

I only have one vehicle with power locks, and I’m actively working to get rid of it. Doors should open when I pull the handle. Windows should go up and down whether or not there’s a key in the ignition. When I turn the key in the ignition, the engine should crank over, regardless of what else is going on. Modern cars are just way too interconnected.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > M.T. Blake
08/12/2018 at 19:46

Maybe... except all my keys are dumb and none of my bank cards have chips in them. and not out of a choice either, just the way it is .

M.T. Blake > gogmorgo - rowing gears in a Grand Cherokee
08/12/2018 at 19:47

You’re not wrong.

M.T. Blake > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
08/12/2018 at 19:48

All your cards will have chips soon. I’ve been forced to get new ones by having them involuntarily sent to me.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > M.T. Blake
08/12/2018 at 20:09

I know, I’m not against them in practice.. though the last couple of music festivals I’ve been to have had paywave/paypass only for beer, and me being an accidental luddite had to purchase a single use credit card at another tent.

bubblestheturtle > M.T. Blake
08/13/2018 at 22:09

I put my car in the garage. Shocking use of a garage, I know.

M.T. Blake > bubblestheturtle
08/13/2018 at 22:21

Who does that? Garages are for inherited furniture, old mattresses, non-operational motorcycles, and boxes of opposite season clothing.

gawdzillla > gogmorgo - rowing gears in a Grand Cherokee
08/14/2018 at 13:49

“good thinking, the model S does all that ” Elon Musk / CEO of Tesla